Sunday, April 29, 2007

All's gud that ends gud!!!

all's gud that ends gud!!!

After such an agonizing wait, finally the time has come when the anxiety of the students is bound to peak(thats exactly what they waited for so long(in fact tooo long)). So finally the wait is over and IIM results out.
IIMC like previous years is again the first one to come up with the results this year and IIMA again like previous years the last one to come up. Anyways what matters is that the result is out, wait ends and the nerves relaxed.


It would not be right if I do not mention the kind of pressure I felt today. Probably the only time, I have been so anxious for my results. I remember, I had even have a look at results of CAT for more than a day after it came out. Reason: was not so anxious and had a feeling, if it is (+ve) , it is, if not doesn't matter. had not even calculated expected scores from keys provided by coachings earlier. Reason was sure about inaccuracies in the keys provided and had a feeling it would end up fine.
Even this time, I was consoling others when they were feeling low till last few days and then, suddenly found myself caught in the grip as well. I don't know what is it that i feared but somehow i had a fear, a fear of losing out an golden opportunity; a fear that i may be back among people i am about to leave. what would it look like if i don't make it to IIMs? what would i answer to the questions various people will put up? comments like "arey aisa kaise ho sakta hai" and "koi baat nahin chalo agle saal ho jayega" would have worsen the matter rather than being consoling comments. and after having lost to all the non-IIMs, i don't see a reason why i should not be worried. (See what anxiety can do to you: a hardcore optimist converted to pessimist) I know these people don't actually matter to me but what matters tome is my self-respect. i would lose all my self respect if i fail somehow.
With this kind of a mental state I sat in front of my desktop looking into the screen with 6 tabs open and a continuous refresh on all of them. as soon as a site goes down the heart beat goes up. Had a preoccupied mind that i would go in the order KILBCA when i check results and obviously the reasons is simply, better chances in the lower ranked IIMs and a selection there would ease down the nerves(wont deny the role of superstition here). Fortunately and luckily, found a person with whom i could chat and divert my mind but again on such a moment you don't have any other topic to talk about... others are more interested in knowing your final result than anything else...everyone has right to expect..isn't it?.. anyhow we started on the same lines but in some time could move on to general philosophical lines. his approaches in life, my approaches in life.(surprisingly with the number of similarities between us, it seemed like talking to self in a mirror)
But again that was momentary . All that ease vanished in some time. I did not feel like doing any work. This fear.. this anxiety was killing me.


......


IIMC results out!!!
Should I check it or should I wait on for KILB before checking C??? C is my best bet...what if my name doesn't appear there. Somehow God provided me some courage and I decided...."jo hoga dekha jayega..lets see whats in"... and YES.. YES.. YES.. I DID IT .. I MADE IT TO CAL.. WOW ..THAT'S GR8.. I CANT BELIEVE IT .. THANK GOD YOU DID IT FOR ME I AM REALLY THANKFUL TO YOU.. I AM THANKFUL TO ALL THOSE WHO HAD PUT IN EFFORTS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.... FINALLY I AM HEADING TO ONE OF ELITEst OF THE B SCHOOLS.. IT IS A DREAM COME TRUE....WOW I CANT EVEN EXPRESS HOW I FEEL LIKE....and so on :)

Even forgot that there are still some more results to come...come on lets celebrate this moment...dragged my team to ice cream parlor...jo khana hai order kar do.....come on this is not the party but just a gesture of my happiness..actual party to come later..
now i didn't care whether i make it to IIMA or not...i have got C and that is the best thing that can happen to me....


AND finally AbhiTaneja to head to JOKA.....IIM CALCUTTA ROCKS...and now it ll rock some more with :) in

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